5 Things All Resilient People Have In Common
5 Things All Resilient People Have In Common
How can entrepreneurs overcome feelings of isolation and hopelessness during challenging times?
We’ve all had moments where we saw more for ourselves. We’ve all had times when we sat alone in our kitchen, car, or bedroom, trying to figure things out, feeling like the challenges were bigger and more daunting than we were. It's a profoundly lonely and scary experience. Some people don’t make it through those moments—some have had health crises due to stress, and others have taken their own lives due to hopelessness.
The heart behind my work is understanding how difficult it is to go through these tough moments. Wouldn’t it be great if we all had a framework, a coach, or someone speaking into our lives? That’s what this work is about. None of us has to go through these challenges alone anymore. You now have a framework, the five practices, and me as a coach if you don’t have anyone else to lean on. We don’t have to face tough things alone. When we believe we are meant for more, there is a roadmap to get there.
How does decision fatigue affect entrepreneurs and business leaders?
Decision fatigue is very real for many entrepreneurs. As leaders of our organizations, we constantly make decisions—like whether a social media post should look one way or another, which podcast to release, or which color scheme to use. Our teams want to make us happy and get our buy-in as CEOs, but the constant need to make decisions takes a significant mental toll.
Over time, this can wear us down. We start feeling like we have less energy, and maybe even feel like a failure—like nothing we do is good enough and no matter how hard we work, we can't get over that hill or reach the pinnacle we imagined.
How can entrepreneurs strengthen their resilience?
A lot of this started for me, from a love of words and language, even though I'm dyslexic. You might call me a dork or a nerd, but I was fascinated by the word "resilience." It seemed like a powerful concept, and I wanted to understand it better. When I looked it up in the dictionary, it said, "Resilience: to be resilient," and "Resilient: to demonstrate resilience." That didn’t give me much to work with!
We all have stories of resilience—it's fundamentally tied to our humanity. It exists within all of us, and we can strengthen our resilience through practice, specifically through the five practices. This is a key takeaway because many come to me or my talks with what I call "resilience dread." They fear they might not have what it takes. But when we understand that resilience is already within us, we are like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz. She realizes everything she was searching for was in her backyard all along. We all have the strengths, talents, and skills we need to navigate life.
What can business owners do to improve their self-talk?
After you do a 24-hour self-talk audit, you might be surprised by how much of what you say to yourself is unproductive, unfair, mean, discrediting, or unhelpful. Of course, there might also be some positive self-talk in there. Changing behaviors is hard; it's not just about removing a bad habit, like when people stop smoking—they often replace it with chewing gum or eating carrot sticks. It's about filling that void with a new, healthier behavior.
The question then becomes: how can I increase the positive self-talk? I'm a big fan of continuing the positive behaviors you're already doing. When we're not constantly criticizing ourselves, we have a greater capacity to love others. If you want to be a great partner, or compassionate and empathetic with your family, children, or employees, your ability to love others is limited only by your ability to love yourself.
When we focus our energy and become intentional about how we speak to ourselves, how we speak out loud, and how we speak to others, our capacity increases. We gain more energy, feel better about ourselves, have less anxiety and depression, and wake up with a more positive mindset. Why? Because there isn't always a voice in our head putting us down.
*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.*
