How to Build Influence and Authority
How to Build Influence and Authority
How do external perceptions shape a business owner's self-image?
I believe that our perception of ourselves is largely shaped by others. Humans can't actually see themselves; we can only see mirror images or photographs, which aren't the same as seeing oneself directly. We think we know what we look like and who we are, but in reality, our self-image is largely formed by how others react to us. If you remove influential figures like parents, teachers, friends, and loved ones from your life, the sense of 'self' as we know it disappears. We become a vague, abstract human being without the reflections we receive from others. Thus, we are, in many ways, what is reflected back to us by people around us.
Why should business owners focus on work quality over personal reputation?
Overcoming my ego has been a challenge, particularly in striving to surpass my own expectations. After experiencing many challenges over the past years, I've learned to take myself less seriously, which means there's less at stake personally. Now, when I write a book, my concern is less about my reputation and more about the quality of the work. In the realm of business leadership and self-help, where ego often dominates, many view books primarily as business assets or platforms for personal gain. My approach has shifted; I no longer write to enhance my own image. Instead, I focus on creating something meaningful; the books are not about me, but I am dedicated to my books.
How can business owners create content that engages their audience?
I believe writing is a conversation. I enjoy creating things up to a certain point, but what I value most is seeing their impact on others. This is similar to why I like cooking—I love to prepare meals and then observe people's reactions to them, ideally positive ones. My wife is my favorite reader and the person whose opinion matters most to me. Writing for her has been enjoyable. Unlike my previous projects, where I wrote books for various individuals, writing something solely for her was a unique experience. A few years ago, for Christmas, I self-published a book that I wrote, edited, designed, and laid out entirely by myself and gave it to her.
How can live feedback improve the quality of creative work for business owners?
I've been a part of masterminds before, a number of them. The most interesting, fun way that I've seen resonance with creative work recently is when I read things and when I write something, and then I read it in front of somebody else, like immediately out loud... One of the projects that I'm working on right now as a ghostwriter is writing a children's story for my daughter’s third-grade class, and so they have basically hired me as the ghostwriter to help them write a story. And so they’ve given me all the plot points and all the characters and stuff. So I wrote about half of it, and it got long, and I got super into it... My daughter read it, gave me two corrections, and said, 'Other than that, I love it.' That live feedback is an incredible way to understand your work.
How can reading and writing improve decision-making for business owners?
Writing and reading together help people think better and more clearly. If I could tell everybody to do two things, I would say read more real books—physical books, not Kindle, not something on your laptop, not something on your phone screen, not an audiobook. Read real books because it does something to your brain. Writing allows you to capture what you’re thinking at the moment. And if habit number one is to read real books, habit number two is to write something physical in a physical place, like an actual notebook.
What are the biggest mistakes entrepreneurs make when writing a book?
Most people would say, 'You should write a book because it will establish you as an authority.' The problem is, that’s what everyone is saying and doing. And there are a lot of bad books out there. I think people should write a book because they want to go on a journey of discovery. You hire a ghostwriter or collaborator to help you figure out what you have to say and how you’re going to say it and to guide you through the process. Most people think they have an idea for a book, but they don’t. They have an idea for an article or a chapter. A collaborator helps ensure your book is worth reading.
*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.*
